Listening to Eric Benet's song and having just had a conversation with someone who lights up my world...I realize that love sho' as hell dont love me. I don't get it. I always fall for the person that doesn't fall as hard or as soon as I do. Its rather unnerving and frustrating after a while.
"All I ever needed I can never find..." Eric said it HARD in this song. I'm so sick of this. Close to giving up...is it all worth it in the end? Should I hold on to the one who makes me smile but doesn't completely realize their worth to me or should I move on to the person who I know [or have a strong belief] loves me and knows it without any difficulty or complications aside from the norm? I see, I love, and I wait...sometimes to no avail and that is when it becomes a problem.
I'm persistent but why should I have to be? Its stupid. There are people knocking on my door and I'm ignoring them for the one person who can't seem to find my door. STUPID STUPID. I dont know right now but I will soon and a decision will be made. Its probably gonna boil down to being "Selfish" [ask Vivian Green]. Either way, I know I will be doin' just fine in the end.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Insecurities
Recent events took me back just a little. I'm in the beginnings of a new relationship as I have already stated in a previous post which is great. Don't get me wrong, its going pretty good with him and I but the inside is rather disturbed. I'm realizing insecurities that I thought I had overcome.
I usually over think everything, or at least that's what my intimate friends have told me and I can't say I disagree. I'm a thinker, it comes so naturally but I am attempting to try something new. I want to "let it flow" like Toni Braxton proclaimed in this song:
Jazmine Sullivan claimed that she wasn't scared of lions tigers and bears but she was scared of loving the guy that she felt loved her. Is love worth the risk? Is the hope of a warm body and even warmer smile worth the danger of a broken heart and an even more broken spirit? Some would argue no and yet even more [in my opinion] would argue less.
Insecurities and past hurts aside I am planning to follow Eric Benet's lead and "let my heart take its chances just to be loved by you." I want to be loved and in order to be loved we have to master our fears and pray and hope that it plays out. So on that note...I'm going to step out on faith and hope for the best.
I usually over think everything, or at least that's what my intimate friends have told me and I can't say I disagree. I'm a thinker, it comes so naturally but I am attempting to try something new. I want to "let it flow" like Toni Braxton proclaimed in this song:
Jazmine Sullivan claimed that she wasn't scared of lions tigers and bears but she was scared of loving the guy that she felt loved her. Is love worth the risk? Is the hope of a warm body and even warmer smile worth the danger of a broken heart and an even more broken spirit? Some would argue no and yet even more [in my opinion] would argue less.
Insecurities and past hurts aside I am planning to follow Eric Benet's lead and "let my heart take its chances just to be loved by you." I want to be loved and in order to be loved we have to master our fears and pray and hope that it plays out. So on that note...I'm going to step out on faith and hope for the best.
Friday, November 14, 2008
2pac feat. Jon B - R U Still Down?
Dis from dat Job B. Justin Timberlake couldnt touch him at all. lol
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Secrets
Wow...I'm beyond amazed. For so long I have searched for a hand to hold. For so long I have been in need of that special someone and I have denied myself much for the off chance that they might be happy despite myself. Needless to say, that has changed to a degree. Some might call it selfish but call it what you want--I don't care.
I have met someone. Someone who makes me smile and whom I make smile. Someone whose presence reminds me of a love that I have not had in a long time. Religious convictions aside--I want this. Yes, this person is male. A wonderful man, if I do say so myself. I don't know where this is going nor how long its going but I am down for the ride for now. Seeing how this is going to play out and enjoying the time in between.
I won't tell your secrets. They safe with me. I'm doing just fine right now, ya'll, cuz I got me a hand to hold. I haven't forgotten about the Lord and I hope and pray he hasn't forgotten about me. But I feel like I need this and I almost feel like he opened the door. Yes, we know he doesn't tempt us with evil but how evil can raw, unadulterated emotion be?
I won't tell if you won't tell. Just think of me as the pages in your diary. ;-)
I have met someone. Someone who makes me smile and whom I make smile. Someone whose presence reminds me of a love that I have not had in a long time. Religious convictions aside--I want this. Yes, this person is male. A wonderful man, if I do say so myself. I don't know where this is going nor how long its going but I am down for the ride for now. Seeing how this is going to play out and enjoying the time in between.
I won't tell your secrets. They safe with me. I'm doing just fine right now, ya'll, cuz I got me a hand to hold. I haven't forgotten about the Lord and I hope and pray he hasn't forgotten about me. But I feel like I need this and I almost feel like he opened the door. Yes, we know he doesn't tempt us with evil but how evil can raw, unadulterated emotion be?
I won't tell if you won't tell. Just think of me as the pages in your diary. ;-)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Barack Obama - Whatever I Like (T.I. - Whatever You Like)
LMAO!! PPL this was too funny to pass up. Had to share it. You gotta comment this one.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Whitney Houston - Heartbreak Hotel
Ya'll remember this? It was the jumpoff. I was feelin dis song fa real.
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