I am too through!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Melanie Fiona - It Kills Me (OFFICIAL VIDEO)
Uh oh, I have been directed to another vocal queen to sit beside my other favorite queens Erykah Badu and Chrisette Michele. She's giving me everything!!!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Reflections: It WAS It
I was listening to my mp3 player and the song "Declaration: This Is It" by Kirk Franklin journeyed into my conscious. It reminded me of a very taxing time in my life. Fall of 2008 I saw myself in the mirror. I saw a reflection of who I was and it showed me that who I thought I was, was simply a reflection. Not a reality. I was a reflection of my upbringing, a reflection of the beliefs of my elders, a reflection of the thoughts that had become my own. But if anyone has ever seen a reflection before, they know that a reflection is not really "you". It's a reversed image of you. This is why letters on T-shirts appear flipped around.
I remember hearing the song and it said:
"Gonna cry now, go ahead and get it out of my system
I know I hurt now, but soon I gotta get back to livin'
Can't be here next year, givin' you these same tears
I hope you enjoyed it, 'cause it's the last time you will take a piece of me"
Let's just say, at that time, I did cry. I wept for that reflection that I tried to make the REAL me. I wept because I knew that some people would be happier with the reflection than with the reality. I had to get back to "livin" because the "I" that was real was dying quickly and then I had a rude awakening. It shattered the mirror and my reflection and then all I had left was the bitter reality of who I was. The shards of my image lying in front of me was one of the most painful things I have endured. It was a personal death. A death that I appreciate because it has made me live.
The line "Can't be here next year, givin' you these same tears" means so much because this is that "next year" and the only tears I have shed have been for those who passed in this particular year. They are not the same tears that poured out of me in Fall 2008.
Again, I refer back to the song: "I can't keep livin' like this, there's gotta be more than this"
There was more than what I thought I knew. There was more than my reflection. It took the demise of that mirror for me to be able to see beyond it.
I wrote all this to let anyone know that no matter where you are at the present moment, no matter who you think you are at the present moment, all this can change. Especially when you are unhappy. Don't let the mirror make you into someone you aren't, don't let mirrors such as family and societal boundaries tell you that you are this and that when you know you are not. Live! Live outside of the mirror and you will also be DOIN' JUST FINE.
I remember hearing the song and it said:
"Gonna cry now, go ahead and get it out of my system
I know I hurt now, but soon I gotta get back to livin'
Can't be here next year, givin' you these same tears
I hope you enjoyed it, 'cause it's the last time you will take a piece of me"
Let's just say, at that time, I did cry. I wept for that reflection that I tried to make the REAL me. I wept because I knew that some people would be happier with the reflection than with the reality. I had to get back to "livin" because the "I" that was real was dying quickly and then I had a rude awakening. It shattered the mirror and my reflection and then all I had left was the bitter reality of who I was. The shards of my image lying in front of me was one of the most painful things I have endured. It was a personal death. A death that I appreciate because it has made me live.
The line "Can't be here next year, givin' you these same tears" means so much because this is that "next year" and the only tears I have shed have been for those who passed in this particular year. They are not the same tears that poured out of me in Fall 2008.
Again, I refer back to the song: "I can't keep livin' like this, there's gotta be more than this"
There was more than what I thought I knew. There was more than my reflection. It took the demise of that mirror for me to be able to see beyond it.
I wrote all this to let anyone know that no matter where you are at the present moment, no matter who you think you are at the present moment, all this can change. Especially when you are unhappy. Don't let the mirror make you into someone you aren't, don't let mirrors such as family and societal boundaries tell you that you are this and that when you know you are not. Live! Live outside of the mirror and you will also be DOIN' JUST FINE.
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