Just One of Dem Days

Ever had one of these? Those days when everything and everybody is getting on every nerve that you have? The days when all you want to do is chill and have a great day but everything goes against that one simple request? Then they get upset when you get upset and accuse you of being moody or mean or something of that nature? We still love them but we just having one of dem days. Monica says that girls go through them but men do to. Ugh...just one of them days but I'm still DOIN JUST FINE.

That Empty...

feelin. Have you ever felt it? Idk...its not an empty emptiness...its more like an empty vessel before its filled with something. Its a vacancy with promise. I dont know what I'm expecting or waiting for but I just have this...waiting emptiness. I'm happy. I have my job but there is still something that I am waiting for. But whether empty or full...I'm DOING JUST FINE!

Life in a Book

Disney has made sad stories end in a beautiful light. Disasters turn into Princesses who found their Prince. Kings who regained their kingdoms. Wizards who mastered their magic. Fairies who discovered their charm. Elves who realized that magic knows no height requirements. Some might call these stories fables...or illusions against reality. But, despite the magic and the fictional fabrications I call these stories optimistic. I call these stories a watered-down form of faith, but still faith nonetheless. Would life in a book be so bad? Would it be horrible to know that some magical godmother will come and grant you riches when all you had were rags? Would it be so terrible to find oneself in a castle that once belonged to some evil stepmother? I mean really--would it be awful seven friends who would chase and destroy evil just to make sure that you came out alive and not some victim to an eternal sleep? Life may not be a fairytale, and some people resent the lies that fairies tell...but what about the truths that they sprinkle over their pages? The truth that no matter what you can do JUST FINE.

Order My Steps

This is like the first time in a long time when I didn't understand why any of these things are happening to me. I mean, I was at a total loss yesterday. Situations just weren't working out and I couldn't see what tomorrow was going to bring. Then with the help of the sermon my pastor preached and a word of wisdom from a brother at church and a long convo with my brother EJ enlightened me. I don't have to know what's going on if I trust God. I don't have to worry or anything because He has all things in his hands. All I have to do is move when he tells me to but until then I am just waiting for him to order my steps and guide me to the place I need to be. I really know what it means for the Lord to be my shepherd. I SHALL NOT WANT. So basically, I received a word from the Lord and now I am REALLY DOIN' JUST FINE!

Mary J. Blige - Take Me As I Am

Me.
Thats all I can be. I may change if I am led to but more than likely I am going to be me. So I realized that the people that matter won't hold me accountable for that because I am not a bad person. I have let my past mold me into this semi-insensitive, cynical, goofy individual who has so many masks that sometimes he forgets the face behind them. I am not perfect and honestly I dont expect to be. But I do expect to grow everyday to be better--a better man, a better person, a better friend, a better everything. So take me as I am or risk having nothing at all.

Gina Loring-Somewhere There is a Poem

Just...wow. I came across this while simply listening to youtube poets while doing some photoediting. Not only is this woman beautiful in the physical her words imitate that beauty and so does her voice. This poem is powerful...i mean like destructively powerful. Just....wow.

So Much for FD

Well, the job opportunity I had a Family Dollar is gone. Waited too long on Dollar General I suppose. But again, that is all good. Something way better is just waiting on me to stumble on it. Job hunting is so tiresome usually but I am just patiently waiting for the right one or 3, if you know what I am mean. A job is very important for me right now because I may be funding my own education for next semester so I want a job quick. However nothing is going to dampen my job, especially nothing like this. So, so much for FD but me? Well, as you may have guessed--IM DOIN' JUST FINE! HAhahahahahahahah

Well, Alright by CeCe Winans

I need this song right now. Even if the change dont come today its tonight. And He will answer every little prayer--ALRIGHT. Faith is a blessing especially concerning the Lord. Faith in anything else is pretty much vain.

Denied

So...I received a letter in the mail today from the Financial Aid department of UNC-Greensboro. This letter was to regretfully inform me about the DENIAL of my appeal to regain my federal aid for the Fall 2008 semester. DENIED Seeing those words should have hurt more or made me upset or something but strangely, they did not. I was already mentally prepared for this letter. Since I couln't finance my return to UNCG the easy way it just let me know that I will have to do it another way. There is nothing I want more at this point in my life than to finish my education. My dreams will NOT be deferred or deterred by a piece of modified wood with markings that tell me that my request was DENIED. I have been "denied" all my life and still I have made it. There is Someone on my side and I dont have to fear such letters. The letter of denial just let me know that God has a better way for me to go about college. Perhaps God's way will not add more debt to me and even if it does I really feel that its worth it.

I like what I see when I'm lookin at me....

This last few months has shown me something. Things aren't perfect in my life by any means. Lets see--the woman that I love is in the arms of another [for now]. The federal financial aid that I had for school is no longer available to me because I failed a class last semester due to lack of Blackboard savvy. And now I can't seem to find a job. But the thing is...I'm not worried about none of that stuff. And I am happier than I have been in a while. So yes, I like what I see when I'm lookin at me when I walk past the mirror. Situations and entities are attempting to steal my joy and in a sense, who I am. But I KNOW all this is going to work out for my good because of the God I serve. I am doing JUST FINE--how about you?