To be quite honest...I love him. I do. And I am one of those people that fight for love. I fight like a son of a bitch because of that warm fuzzy feeling on the inside of my stomach. Like a great fur coat being brushed against my insides. The thing is: I can't keep fighting for that feeling if it starts getting weak. If the fur begins to feel more like scratches instead of snuggles. I give my all, I exhaust all of my resources, and then I accept the conclusion that [you] are not worth my struggle to maintain whatever this may be. I cannot struggle by myself.
It takes TWO to make a thing go right. It takes TWO to make a relationship work. I'm strong, I'm rather much...but obviously I am not enough. I tried...honestly, I gave it my all to no avail. You or rather, he, chose to do other things and left me in an oasis of my tears. Left me in a pool of mourning because I suddenly realized that most of the hope for any salvaging of this relationship vacated the premises a while ago.
I recall a song by Leona Lewis that states, "Even though I really love you, I'm gonna smile because I deserve to, it will ALL get better in TIME." With that said...I prepare myself for "in time" while i weep in the "now". Maybe we may still be together...one day...but that is a child's wish, a naive hope, a dream in the midst of a harsh reality. With that said...basically, I gotta go...but only so I can continue to be DOIN' JUST FINE.
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