Lessons Learned

“Mistake overturned so I call it a lesson learned.”

Alicia speaks so much truth in this one line. The entire song is prolific. If nothing else I have gained from these past experiences with love, it is that I am a survivor but not strictly because I’m so resilient. It’s primarily because God placed something in me that is determined to bounce back. I don’t always see it but then, that’s what friends and family (and sometimes even strangers) are for.

I’ve been heartbroken a couple of times in my life. But this recent hurt is not something I consider heartbreak. My heart aches, yes, but it is not broken. I’m not in pieces and this must be all to the grace of God. I am imperfect and anyone that I may come to love in the future will be imperfect as well. However, I pray that together, we have a semblance of perfection. Together we would be stronger than a part.

I call everything that I’ve been through in the past couple of months a lesson learned. It may not be appreciated just yet, but it is a lesson nonetheless. I’ve learned that love conquers much…but it doesn’t conquer all. I know that may seem a bit blasphemous to some of us but love, itself, is so multifaceted. Perhaps certain kinds of love conquers all, but not ALL love conquers all.

I’ve also learned that anger, though it has its place, is not beneficial. For at the end of the day, at least in my case, my anger comes from hurt. Especially when it comes from those who are prominent in any way in my life. When I’m angered it’s because something was done to me that I do not feel was justified. It hurt my heart but with that hurt came something less “weak.” I’ve been happy in anger before, but now I’d rather not thrive in it. It’s much healthier, I believe, to thrive in love even if it’s nothing but the love of oneself.

I could go on and on about the lessons I’ve learned but I will not wary the patience of all those who may read this…at least not in this one post.
When I look back, a part of me wants to feel regret (and I may really feel that) but a greater part of me is…satisfied. Not content, no, but satisfied. Everything did not work out the way I wanted it to, but in the end, as always, Rakeem is coming out DOIN’ JUST FINE.